Category Archives: Daily Questions

Pronoun today: She Changes noticed: nothing new, really. I thought my boobs had grown enough to fill out this super slinky top that kept falling off my shoulders before, but they didn’t really Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: like 3? Dream: Me and N are in Boston, […]

Pronoun today: They/Them Changes noticed: Not much new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1, by my boss, which feels really good Dream: forgotten People I Talked to Today: 8 ppl at work, N, 3 housemates, J, V People I Actually Communicated With Today: N What Have You […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: My breasts are more prevalent than the last time I wrote (look at today’s photo (which was taken two days ago but w/e, I have CLEAVAGE WHILE NAKED, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE). I’m feeling emotionally better. I was able to write today and last night instead […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: One year ago today, I started taking estrogen. My body feels more real that it ever has. The changes are helping, and I’m on the right path. My face no longer pains me when I look at it in the mirror after two days of not […]

Thoughts on the last forever: One of us will be the one who lives, one of us will be the one who dies. I cannot live with you inside me, but you will outlast me if I murder this body. You will go on to new hosts, to the brains of my loved ones, where […]

Pronoun today: They/them Thoughts on the last few days: There has been so much life in the past few months. I did not feel any of it. I laughed at some jokes, and enjoyed playing some games, and smiled with my lover. And those moments did happen, but they were small moments, and were not […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: no Money Spent on Transition Expenses: I ended up spending $50 on wigs yesterday. Restraint? Not really, but we’ll pretend. # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0 that I heard Dream: our house is gigantic, full of old furniture, antiques, and old- world floral patterns. I am trying to […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: Nothing new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: Still considering spending $90 on wigs. Maybe I’ll “only” spend $50. I don’t know. I need Naia’s advice # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: I think like one? Dream: Forgotten People I Talked to Today: 4ppl at rehearsal, one housemate, 2 people […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: I’m trying growing out my leg hair for a bit just to see what it’s like now. How much thinner it is. It’s a fair bit thinner. Recently I’ve been really heavily fantasizing about having children. Who knows where that’s coming from. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: I’m really considering […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: … Dream: I meet by ex while visiting my hometown. She looks younger and older at the same time, has started wearing eye makekup. We silently negotiate how to hug and interact with each other. I am invited to an orgy by a trans woman I […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: Grateful that I am alive and safe. Had two dates in the last two days, with people I met on OKC and Tinder. I’d never been on a date before (all my romances have evolved from friendships that started by accident, this is my first time […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: Work today, work yesterday. I’m only vaguely out to my co-workers. I work so many places with so many different rotating people that I’ve never really been able to have a moment when I, like, came out to the office. People kind of generally know something’s […]

Pronoun today: They/them Thoughts on the last few days: slept. Made a video. Worked. Tried to contact the woman from Tinder. Made a kind of maybe new friend on OKC? This doesn’t feel like it’s working, this online dating thing. The world is full of flaky people. I wrote music. I spent some time with […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: I got another laser appointment. Got a big paycheck and spent most of it. I spent 100 on lasers, 15 on estrogen, 200 on a new laptop because the old one’s screen got cracked to shit, 400 on rent, 130 on debts I owe to Josh, […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: Today I saw a friend and we made out for a while. It was really nice. She likes my boobs, and played with them without me asking. I felt like she was seeing me as a woman, sexually. Which no one but Naia had ever done […]

Pronoun today: They/them Thoughts on the last few days: Yesterday I stayed in bed all day and didn’t leave. I’m not eating well again. I’m not exactly depressed yet, but when one of my housemates came to my room to talk to me, I told him to go away. My date cancelled that night, or […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: Today is my birthday. I turned 24. Strange, but an irrelevant year. Last week my sister turned 18. Much stranger. I got to sleep yesterday, and saw friends at Swarthmore. My work life is winding down, I actually have time some days. I don’t have as […]

Pronoun today: They/them Thoughts on the last few days: Working. Too exhausted to work. Still on okc. Got contacted by two couples looking for unicorns, totally unrelated. Kind of considering it. (A unicorn is a young attractive woman who fucks couples. Every fucking straight couple who’s looking to open their relationship is looking for them, […]

Pronoun today: She/her Thoughts on the last few days: Naia visited. We planted a tree together at our house. We had to pull up layers and layers of this strange fabric that the previous tenants had lined the top of the garden with to kill all of the plants below. But we dug and dug […]

Pronoun today: she/her Changes noticed: Nothing new, really. Out of shape, but I kind of knew that one. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1 I suppose, after a correction Dream: Forgotten but stressful. People I Talked to Today: ToO many. A friend, a guy who rented us […]

Pronoun today: Emphatically she/her Changes noticed: I can’t pass nearly as well as I’d thought. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 2 times brutally misgendered. Felt super overwhelming. I talked to a coworker who I’d never met and we talked about women’s clothing and it seemed like she […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: Nothing new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: a couple, by friends Dream: In a fancy nyc apartment, refusing to leave. I talk to my sister about queerness. She nods along. Naia gives me a huge old book about the tarot. It rains. […]

Pronoun today: They Changes noticed: I’m homeless. I hadn’t realized that. I’m couch-surfing right now before my lease is signed and I can move in on the first. I was going to stay with a friend, but my cell phone battery died. I went to a nearby house of a friend and rang the bell, […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: Happiness still. NAIA asked “who are you?” while I sung them a song about a butterfly, because I was so suddenly (in just a couple days) so joyful Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: none explicitly in my hearing Dream: 2 parts, first […]

Pronoun today: they/them Changes noticed: Naia says that they think I’ve gained weight and that it’s going to my “womanly places.” I didn’t really ask them what that means, but I have noticed that one of my pants doesn’t fit as well around the waist and thighs. Also they said my boobs were bigger. Money […]

Pronoun today: she, then they Changes noticed: nothing much new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 5-6 times by a number of people, called “ladies” while with Naia by someone asking us for money, so they got me right and N wrong. Dream: forgotten People I Talked to […]

Pronoun today: they Changes noticed: nothing new, really. finding my voice migrating back down a bit, got to keep an eye on that Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1 on the street by a catcaller Dream: >A lot of train stress, getting on the right train, etc. […]

Pronoun today: She Changes noticed: Changes in the depression: I lost a week of my life. It just disappeared, as though it was never there at all. Also the lasers pretty effectively destroy my black hairs but the lighter color face gaurs are still growing. I don’t know what they’ll look like if I stop […]

Pronoun today: they/them Changes noticed: nothing new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: nothing # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: no Dream: Like so many of my dreams, preparing for a show. We’re cleaning up a semi-vacant lot for a boring play about kings and stuff that we all make fun of, but it’s starting […]

Pronoun today: she/her Changes noticed: i haven’t shaved my chest in a while and the hair is definitely much much thinner than before, especially around my nipples Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: didn’t leave Dream: nope People I Talked to Today: 1 People I Actually Communicated With […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: hair thinner Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0 that i can remember, other than N Dream: forgotten People I Talked to Today: N, realtor People I Actually Communicated With Today: N What Have You Done to Become Better Today? I made plans […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: i don’t know, my breasts feel bigger. My friends were commenting on them having a shape when I was lying on my side. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: a bunch with friends. It’s hard to keep track sometimes Dream: Another blur. Remember […]

Pronoun today: She/her Changes noticed: nothing new, beard still visible, but I need to be patient Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: bunch of times by Naia, that should count, once by a security guard at a park we were at, telling us not to swing the hammock […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: nothing really new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: I was with a bunch of people who I told my gender pronoun to all day, almost none of whom knew me before, but I was only referred to by pronouns once in my […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: nothing new today Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 1 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0, not even by a man asking for money on the street. Dream: One that awoke me disturbed: I am in a large room, with a shower in it, as well as a living […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: Yesterday I was unshaven because of skin irritation from laser hair removal and wearing not the femmest clothes (shorts and a light t-shirt), and two people from the group that I was helping tech a show asked for my pronouns. I’m queer enough to be understood by the young, at […]

Weight: Good enough. Changes noticed: Today I got laser hair removal. So my skin is irritated and my face stubble is long, but it is burnt away, and my body will push this wave out by the end of the week. (or two weeks). The technician commented that it seems like my stubble is definitely […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: intercourse is still possible, though. It’s still a thing. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: i don’t know what counts as transition expenses anymore. I spent almost 100 dollars on jewelry and a nose piercing. # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0 explicitly Dream: no People I Talked to Today: […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: the best change (possibly) I’ve found so far? i can now cry on command onstage. I could never do that before. I’m really excited, actually Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0 Dream: I am at camp, or somewhere like it. In some […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: my leg hair is definitely thinner, easier to maintain. My facial hair is lighter, possibly because the lasers target the dark hairs more effectively. I definitely cry more. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1 on the street. Dream: forgotten People I Talked […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: had sex today, hard erections are rarer. i don’t have much of a drive for it. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: $31 for a henna kit, I’m going to try shaving my head and tattooing my skull with it, because my hair right now isn’t working at all. # of […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: All changes up until this point: Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1 by a man on the street handing out flyers, called me “sister.” Dream: Forgotten People I Talked to Today: K, L, R, N, H, A People I Actually Communicated With […]

Weight: Good enough Changes noticed: Not much new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: Didn’t really leave, 0 Dream: Forgotten, so better than yesterday People I Talked to Today: Naia, 2 housemates, one housemate friend, texts with 3 people People I Actually Communicated With Today: Naia What Have […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: nothing new Money Spent on Transition Expenses: $140 on two sessions of therapy. I impulse bought $48 worth of jewelry and makeup and feel pretty shitty about it. # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 4 or 6 times by friends who understand, possibly once by a person working at […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: nothing new today Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: I didn’t see anyone new Dream: Preparing for a garden party. People are handing plates of food to us to take out to the garden. The food is covered in maggots and cockroaches. I […]

Weight: enough Changes noticed: i’ve taken pills for so many days it’s hard to remember if i’ve taken one today. also, N spilled paint on my breast prosthetic and then washed it off, and washing them wash my tit, so carefully, made me start crying. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: Low sex drive still. Got very agitated and frustrated dealing with customer service, more than I used to. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 0 Dream: Some sort of Swarthmore reunion. I’m working there. It’s on an airship maybe? At some point there’s […]

Weight: good enough Changes noticed: nothing much new today. Facial hair is still growing. Slower than before hormones, much faster than after first laser session. Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0, but $65 spent on TDB (hard drive) # of Times Correctly Gendered + Comments: 1, while I was accidentally trespassing somewhere. But the guy […]

Weight: Good enough Changes noticed: My breasts are noticeable. We were playing with them. I realized that when I bounced them up and down I could feel the weight of them, pulling a little bit painfully on my skin. Not much, but there! Money Spent on Transition Expenses: 0 # of Times Correctly Gendered + […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: sexy dress, flowery tights, corduroy jacket, cowboy boots Resting Heart Rate: There is a ghost in my head Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, bread and cheese and apples and pasta, and I actually had cereal for breakfast, so I actually had breakfast Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Shoes, probably? I don’t know Resting Heart Rate: I walk in the shadow of the valley of death, and I am not afraid Food and Medicine Intake: Food, probably? Medicine? Dream: A long, single story where I go slowly crazy, attempt to kill my father with poison, and, after he survives […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: A white shirt with COPE written on it, jeans with patches, doc martens Resting Heart Rate: I don’t believe Food and Medicine Intake: Ate very little, had a pumpernickel bagel with cream cheese, plus some popcorn and that’s kind of it, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Annoying logistics. # of Times Misgendered + […]

Weight: 147 lbs Attire: red diaphanous shirt, doc martens, white cargo pants, then black dress, then less. Resting Heart Rate: HATE Food and Medicine Intake: didn’t eat much until dinner, had good pizza and beer, 100mg spironolactone Dream: No # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1, maybe # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: like 6 […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: black tank top, green shorts, sandals, sweater-hoodie Resting Heart Rate: I don’t think so Food and Medicine Intake: rice and beans, 100mg spironolactone, other shit. Dream: A complicated, nesting affair. In the primary dream, my family is in LA, but my parents keep disappearing to do things, and me and my […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: Some days are worse than others Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Some days are worse than others # of Suicidal […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: Some days are worse than others Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Some days are worse than others # of Suicidal […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: black tank, green cargo shorts, but the other ones Resting Heart Rate: Yes Food and Medicine Intake: Chili with bulgur and cornbread, rice and beans, some crunchy stuff, popcorn, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 4, by dancers # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: green cargo shorts, that mesh tank top I like so much Resting Heart Rate: I haven’t eaten well in so fucking long Food and Medicine Intake: Falafel, some nuts, basically it. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 3, once really loudly called “sir” by someone who was renting the […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: explosions tshirt, black sarong Resting Heart Rate: I don’t think so Food and Medicine Intake: 800mg ibuprophen, 100mg spironolactone, 1000mg amoxicilin, a croissant, pizza, beer Dream: A really frustrating game of Magic the Gathering. There was nothing that could be done, and no play that would win me any games. Later, […]

Weight: 149 lbs Attire: thin blue pigeon shirt, brown floral skirt, corduroy jacket, sandals Resting Heart Rate: Someday, 0, but today, more than 0 Food and Medicine Intake: 2400mg ibuprophen, 100mg spironolactone, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, cheese grits with eggs, chips and salsa, lemonade, cranberry juice, pirates booty, some candy. Dream: Doing […]

Weight: No scale Attire: red haltertop, Naia’s green capri pants, sandals Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 2400mg ibuprophen, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, leftover malai kofta, veggie burger with curly fries, root beer, rum. Dream: I remember Ally. I remember a strange League-of-Legends […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 20mg estrogen, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: My theater anxiety dream, 2-3 weeks later, as promised (this happens every […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 3200mg ibuprophen, 1 pill percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin, 40ml chlorhexidine gluconate .12% mouthwash, food Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: Some days are worse than others Attire: Some days are worse than others Resting Heart Rate: Some days are worse than others Food and Medicine Intake: 100mg spironolactone, 2800mg ibuprophen, 3 pills percoset, 1500mg amoxicillin Dream: Some days are worse than others # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Some days are worse than others […]

Weight: No scale Attire: backless black and white striped shirt, black sarong, converse, red bra. Resting Heart Rate: 90bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Complex: had anesthesia for oral surgery (wisdom teeth removal): 4mg Versel, 100mg Propofal, 23mcg Fentay. Also novacain, but I didn’t get the dosage for that. Then also 1400mg ibuprof, 1 pill percoset, […]

Weight: No scale Attire: pajamas, most of the day Resting Heart Rate: I didn’t think I could be here but I could be here Food and Medicine Intake: I think I had some macaroni and then we all had cheese souffle, biscuits with cheese and honey, and green beans. Later I had some popcorn, also […]

Weight: No scale Attire: yellow shirt, red bra, black skirt Resting Heart Rate: ddddka;lksfjfjfj Food and Medicine Intake: Some macaroni and cheese, a nice veggie burger and fries, beer, 100mg spironolactone Dream: No memory # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 6, 4 of them noticed and retracted # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: No Food and Medicine Intake: granola bars, fried mashed potatoes, good pizza, popcorn, 28mg estrogen, 100mg spironolactone, 1 pill cetirozine (allergies) Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 7 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? […]

Weight: No scale Attire: green cargo shorts, red scalloped shirt, red bra, sandals. Resting Heart Rate: Eh Food and Medicine Intake: Kind of skipped breakfast, ate some massaman curry in NY, beer, ice cream, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have You […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Costume most of the day, also green sarong and red shirt Resting Heart Rate: Absolutely not Food and Medicine Intake: chickpeas with curry and kale, hummus with pretzals, lemonade, cheesy thing, beer and nachos and fries after the last show, 100mg spironolactone Dream: I am working for the National Weather Service […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: red velvet haltertop, black sarong, sandals, the costume. Resting Heart Rate: I had sex today! Food and Medicine Intake: Nice macaroni and cheese, pad thai, spring rolls, naked smoothie, tortilla chips, 100mg spironolactone. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2, 1 I’m almost sure I misheard. The other incredibly […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: most of the day a brown teddy, then black sarong and purple low cut shirt with red bra, then costume Resting Heart Rate: 10000 Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta, naked smoothie, weird popped potato things, sunflower seeds, ice cream, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # […]

Weight: No scale Attire: different cargo shorts depending on how many times I’ve changed clothes (sweating a lot), striped shirt, then blue pigeon shirt, doc martens then sandals, then a costume: bra with giant flowers, boyshorts with flowers, gaff, robe. Resting Heart Rate: I’m gonna lie and say 400bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cashews, pasta, […]

Weight: No scale Attire: patched jeans, sheer blue shirt, red bra, sandals Resting Heart Rate: Beating Food and Medicine Intake: Pastry, pizza, some snacks that barely need mentioning, some beer that was very very good, 100mg spironolactone. Dream: Disappearing. I remember that the world was going to end, and I was trying to leave my […]

Weight: No scale Attire: black tank top, white cargo pants, doc martens Resting Heart Rate: I don’t think so Food and Medicine Intake: Crescent and hot chocolate, pizza, lemonade, paneer masala, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Three: In the first, I have killed someone. It was out of self-defense, but I am wracked with guilt. Amy is […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Black slit dress, gold body jewelry, gaff, black bra, sandals Resting Heart Rate: Nah Food and Medicine Intake: Crescant and hot chocolate, nachos, beer, chips, tomatoes, 100mg spironolactone Dream: A lot of images. Me lying with another woman, covered in hair that is covered in cum, moving over to make room […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Nothing! Didn’t leave the house all day Resting Heart Rate: No Food and Medicine Intake: I forgot to eat for the entire day until 6:00, when I went out for a veggie burger. Later I ate cashews, also 100mg spironolactone. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of […]

Weight: No scale Attire: white cargo pants, ripped explosions in the sky tshirt, green jacket, nice brown flip flops. Resting Heart Rate: Nope Food and Medicine Intake: mostly shit. 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2, one felt kind of confrontational, even # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Same as previous day Resting Heart Rate: I hate this this week Food and Medicine Intake: Barely anything until the evening, when my professor bought me Qdoba. I had a burrito bowl, managed to trick him into thinking me healthy 100mg spironolactone Dream: forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 4, […]

Weight: No scale Attire: black and white backless shirt and green pants and black bra and flip flops Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t even do it. Food and Medicine Intake: pasta and nuts and peanut butter and crackers and chips and 100mg spironolactone Dream: forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of Suicidal Thoughts […]

Weight: No memory Attire: No memory Resting Heart Rate: No memory Food and Medicine Intake: No memory Dream: I mainly just remember shitting a lot. Like, so much more shit than should fit into my body. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: No memory # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: No memory What Have You […]

Weight: Scale reads 160, but that seems impossible Attire: Flowy black pants, pink hippie shirt, converse, black bra Resting Heart Rate: I don’t like you Food and Medicine Intake: Bagel, cliff bar, mango juice, chips, the best pizza and beer money can by, coke, a bit of candy, a bit of bourbon, 100mg spironolactone Dream: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Written on the day after, I honestly don’t remember Resting Heart Rate: Fuck this question Food and Medicine Intake: Starch plus dairy all day motherfucker, 100mg spironolactone Dream: My old apartment on Baltimore, trying to make it a good place to have a world cup viewing party for some reason # […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bread and cheese and lemonade and mango and cheese curls and macaroni and crackers and peanut butter and 100mg spironolactone Dream: I’m inside a game of League of Legends, played live. I can turn invisible. Josh is directing it. […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Patched jeans, purple shirt, then costume. Resting Heart Rate: No stopwatch Food and Medicine Intake: Macaroni and cheese, peas, corn, milk, potato chips, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Oh, god, this one’s on the tip of my tongue. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 4 What […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: black dress and patterned tights, body jewelry, cowboy boots, red cardigan thing, green jacket Resting Heart Rate: Who the fuck knows Food and Medicine Intake: Spent the morning throwing up, so didn’t eat anything until late afternoon, when I ate way too much expensive pizza and beer, trying to write, and […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Those green pants again, also the backless shirt and the bra and the costume for some of it. Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check Food and Medicine Intake: I didn’t write this today, but 3 days later, and I’ve totally forgotten. But definitely 100mg spironolactone, 40mg estrogen Dream: Also forgotten # of […]

Weight: No scale Attire: red converse, green pants, green jacket, ripped explosions in the sky tshirt, no bra today, seeing how it feels. Later, the costume Resting Heart Rate: No stopwatch Food and Medicine Intake: Apple, bread with peanut butter, pizza, root beer, pasta, banana, french fries, candy, 50mg spironolactone Dream: I remember them being […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Light green pants, backless black and white shirt, converse, black bra, green jacket. Later, a costume of red dress, black tights, black heels, wig Resting Heart Rate: No stopwatch Food and Medicine Intake: Popcorn, grilled cheese, fries, literally that’s it. 100mg spironolactone Dream: No memory # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: 151 lbs Attire: slutty ripped jeans (super slutty, I made them myself), black partially sheer tank top, black bra, green jacket, doc martens Resting Heart Rate: There is a much larger world than you know Food and Medicine Intake: popcorn, naked juice, those sesame things, fake chicken sandwich, clif bar, pizza, apple, 100mg spironolactone […]

Weight: 153 lbs Attire: green dress, cat leggings, red bra, cowboy boots, cord jacket Resting Heart Rate: Butts Food and Medicine Intake: Hot chocolate, cheese, crackers, bread, potato chips, leftover pasta, lemonade, 100mg spironolactone Dream: At Brown Ledge Camp. Me and Fae. We take a bus out of the camp into the town, taking me […]

Weight: 147 lbs Attire: Black slit dress, cowboy boots, patterned tights, black bra, gold chain Resting Heart Rate: 68bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Lots: bagel, rice and beans, pita and hummus, black bean burger with fries, ice cream, banana, mac and cheese, milk, lemonade, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1, […]

Weight: Still apathetic Attire: Blue skirt, red converse, leggings, green jacket, a shirt, presumably? Resting Heart Rate: Still apathetic Food and Medicine Intake: Very little, some popcorn, some pasta, some nuts, but mostly nothing Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 8 What Have You Done to […]

Weight: who gives a shit Attire: who gives a shit Resting Heart Rate: who gives a shit Food and Medicine Intake: who gives a shit Dream: who gives a shit # of Times Misgendered + Comments: who gives a shit # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 5 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? […]

Weight: 151 lbs Attire: pink sweatpants, black bra, black tshirt Resting Heart Rate: I don’t check Food and Medicine Intake: rice and beans and tortilla chips and some candy and 100mg spironolactone Dream: In a basement and an art gallery and a classroom and an auditorium. A whistling contest, a rehearsal where the rain was […]

Weight: WHO CARES Attire: WHO CARES Resting Heart Rate: WHO CARES Food and Medicine Intake: WHO CARES Dream: A number of small ones. I rehearse with Fae and Josh, Josh is mean to her, and she begins to cry. I reprimand him for not being a very good director, because I need her, and he’s […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Ripped blue jeans, yellow and brown shirt, red bra, converse, black felt jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cinnabon, because I’m the coolest, then macaroni, then apples, then other snacks. Not a good day for food. 50mg spironolactone, because I fell asleep on the couch. Dream: Forgotten […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Multiple outfits: Started out in a black dress with patterned tights, changed into red haltertop and sweatpants, changed into cargo pants. Always black bra, green jacket, doc martens. Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check Food and Medicine Intake: potato chips, cheese and bread and lemonade and tea, fried eggs, bananas, fries, beer, […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Purple patterned tights, black skirt, dark maroon velvet shirt, doc martens, black bra, green jacket Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check Food and Medicine Intake: Pizza, root beer, macaroni, bread, pistachios, chocolate, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Slowly climbing a tower, we’re trespassing, but the rooms are inviting and warm and it’s the last […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: stripy shirt and pockety pants and other stuff also Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pizza, potato chips, rice, cheese sandwhich, chocolate, 400mg ibuprofen, 100mg spironolactone Dream: I’m inside a movie. I’m on the moon, in the military, investigating the corpse of a massive alien. The spirit of […]

Weight: 148 lbs Attire: Patched blue jeans, doc martens, black bra, sheer blue shirt, black felt jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 72bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Muffib and donut and berry smoothie, ravioli, birch beer, pretzel, Oreo, some candy, 100mg spironolactone. Dream: I woke up with it in my head, wanting to write it down, but […]

Weight: 149 lbs Attire: green cargo pants, black tank top, black bra for part of the day (put it on partway through rehearsal), green jacket, converse Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: naked juice, nuts, crackers with peanut butter, hummus, tahini, isreali salad on pita with feta, root beer, beer, candy, 100 […]

Weight: 149 lbs Attire: green pants, brown flowy shirt, green jacket, black bra, red converse Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: hummus and tortilla chips and cheese and popcorn and apples and rice and cheese and 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + […]

Weight: 149 lbs Attire: green skinny jeans, green pleather jacket, eits tshirt, black bra, docs Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: omelette, potatoes, cashews, candy, unfortunately. Skipped a lot of meals today. 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have […]

Weight: 147 lbs Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check Food and Medicine Intake: Muffin and donut, hummus and bread and fruit smoothie, cheese curls and cream soda, rice and cheese, cashews, easter candy, 50 mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: purple shirt, patched blue jeans, felt jacket, black bra, doc martens, black panties Resting Heart Rate: Something Food and Medicine Intake: Fake chicken sandwich with vegetables, pancakes, vanilla coke, cheetos, a couple of sips of a bunch of different alcohols. 50 mg spironolactone, because I spent the night at Swarthmore but […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: black and grey floral pattern skirt, black and white striped backless shirt, black bra, black leggings, black doc martens, green jacket Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cheese sandwiches, bananas and peanuts and cashews and pizza and popcorn and cheesecake and 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: red ribbon shirt, black jeans, converse, black bra, black jacket Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: bagel with cream cheese, some junk food, some sandwiches with cheese and bread, sour candy, 100mg spironolactone Dream: I am hanging out with my sister Rose in our old house. I go […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: black leggings, black bra, red converse, green dress, green jacket Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: pizza and breadsticks and rice and cheese and soy fake chicken and anise liquor and 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: most of the day, black tank top, black bra, pink sweatpants, converse Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: nachos, lemonade, bread, peanut butter, pirate’s booty, candy, 100mg spironolactone Dream: I merely remembered that i remembered it, not what it was # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0, but […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: patched jeans, sheer blue shirt, black bra, converse, black felt coat Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cinnabon! popcorn, crackers, beer, hummus and pita and tomato and cucumber, 100mg spironolactone Dream: traveling, taking a wrong turn into a small town and get our car trapped on too small […]

Weight: 1440 lbs Attire: black leggings, doc martens. For rehearsal, explosions in the sky tshirt, red bra and blue skirt, for burlesque show, black bra and black dress. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Some pasta, apple, banana, milk too much beer, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: mostly pajamas today Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: crackers and cheese and pasta and tomato sauce and jelly beans and 100mg spironolactone and 40mg estrogen Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have You Done to Become […]

Weight: 139 lbs Attire: pajamas Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Negative. Threw up all morning (every twenty minutes or so), eventually ate some pasta and peas and corn. 50mg spironolactone (skipped the morning pill because of all the vomiting) Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0, didn’t leave the […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: jeans and tight pink shirt and red bra and doc martens and sweater and jacket Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Apple, fake chicken sandwich with vegetables, some snacks, pasta, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Strange and fast, my friend Rufus from high school was dying, and I was doing […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: jeans, pigeon shirt, bra, sweater, felt jacket, converse Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Very little. Some pretzels, some apples, some popcorn, some cream soda, some lemonade, some pasta. 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0, but I’m still not sure about being called […]

Weight: 148 lbs Attire: black skirt, purple shirt, other stuff Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Some pizza, some some smoothies, some macaroni, apples, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 8 (played MTG, so what can you do) # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 4 What Have You […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: pajamas Resting Heart Rate: 76 Food and Medicine Intake: Far too much rum, just so much rum. 100mg spironolactone Dream: Ooh, complex. My family and Naia were at a very important event, like a rally for a presidential candidate. We were very elegantly dressed. It was in a hotel. My father […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: blue skinny jeans, purple low-cut shirt, red cardigan, green jacket, black bra, black panties, doc martens, black felt duster Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: bagel with cream cheese, pasta, broccoli, popcorn, 100mg spironolactone Dream: forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Mostly pajamas, but in the evening, foley black pants and float brown shirt and bra to meet a friend. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Sesame noodles, Kung pow tofu, beer, popcorn, pretzels, 100mg spironolactone Dream: so I’m a criminal, doing some sort of drug deal, with my […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: Pajamas most of the day, then tie-die shirt, black jeans, black bra, doc martens, black felt coat Resting Heart Rate: FUCK YOU Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta and apples and bananas and potatoes and milk and 100mg spironolactone. Dream: Graduation? Some ceremony. We are outside, I think my mother is officiating, […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Pajamas Resting Heart Rate: I haven’t been giving a shit about this question recently. Huh. Food and Medicine Intake: Not much, pasta, apples, bananas, some chips/cheese-doodles, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have You Done to Become Better […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: faded blue jeans, red converse, black tshirt, green jacket Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check Food and Medicine Intake: Nothing good; too embarrassed to even write it down Dream: A normal workday, working at a theater (which was called Brown Ledge but wasn’t). Minutes before work was going to be over, I […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: pajamas Resting Heart Rate: 88 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: pizza, rice, pasta, cheese, milk, 100mg spironolactone Dream: I am powerful. I realize I can fly, so I do. I fly around the city. I find the house that I “used to live in” (is this the home I felt that […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: brown sweatpants, explosions in the sky tshirt, black felt jacket, black bra, doc martens Resting Heart Rate: Fast. Somewhere over 100bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Oat cereal, croissant, hot chocolate, popcorn, pizza, peas, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Goddammit I remembered this one, I need to do this part in the mornings # […]

Weight: 148 lbs Attire: Ripped explosions in the sky tshirt, purple skirt, purple patterned fishnet-things, then changed into flower-embroidered jeans, green jacket, then black jacket, then at a party, pretty black dress with flowers. Also black bra and doc martens. Resting Heart Rate: Oh, something, I suppose Food and Medicine Intake: Rice, beans, cheese, then […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: COPE shirt, brown sweats Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta with tomatoes, cornbread, fake chicken thing, rice with beans and cheese, milk, rum, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten but vivid # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 (didn’t leave the house) # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: black tank top, black skinny jeans, black felt jacket Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Apples, rice and beans, nachos, beer, pasta, crackers and cheese, rum, 100mg spironolactone orally, 40mg estrogen injected Dream: New pet, a possum, which I carry into the house after it escapes, at it […]

Weight: 138 lbs Attire: light jeans, purple leggings, nice black shirt, red bra, doc martens, sweater-hoodie Resting Heart Rate: Strangely high. 134 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Crackers and cheese, pasta and tomatoes, apple, wine, milk, cornbread, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Another actor’s nightmare # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: same pants as yesterday, white and yellow shirt, green jacket, black bra (new!) with forms, doc martens. Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Leftover pasta, french fries, lemonade, some candy, masaman (sp?) curry, milk, apple, 100mg spironolactone. Dream: Oh, I remembered this… Damn it. # of Times Misgendered […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Flower-embroidered skinny jeans, pink button-shirt, blue sweater, green jacket, red bra with forms, doc martens. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheese grits, a bit of croissant, macaroni and cheese, wine, soon beer, some free samples of cheese and chocolate from some hipster paradise, 100mg spironolactone, and soon […]

Weight: No scale Attire: leggings, black and gold wrap/sarong thing, red scalloped shirt, green jacket, peacoat, later underwear and sheer nightgown Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Rice and beans, black bean burger with fries and root beer, lemonade, cheez-its, chips and salsa, birthday cake, tea with brandy and whisky, wine, 100 […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Pink velour pants, red velour haltertop. AKA the prettiest princess (no bra today, felt strange, but it was drying) Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cornbread, apple, milk, pasta with vodka sauce, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Pajamas because day off! Resting Heart Rate: Who gives a fart? Food and Medicine Intake: Rice and beans, shitty beer, cornbread, cranberry juice, 100 mg spironolactone. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Once when I went to the store. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have You […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: black skinny jeans, black leggings, purple shirt, green canvas jacket, peacoat. Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Corn muffin, sesame sticks, some candy, pasta, popcorn, apples, an irresponsible amount of rum for a thursday, 100mg of spironolactone Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Oh, a couple […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Ripped jeans, fleece leggings, doc martens, pink hippie shirt, hoodie sweater, peacoat Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check. Food and Medicine Intake: Donut, bagel with cream cheese, candy, falafel sandwhich, kefir, fake chicken, shot of rum, 100mg spironolactone Dream: Lost # of Times Misgendered + Comments: At least 15. I lost count. […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Green dress, black leggings, doc martens, hooded duster. During rehearsal, ripped white t, or naked. Resting Heart Rate: Too exhausted to check Food and Medicine Intake: A grilled cheese and a milkshake from Friendly’s, and 100mg of spirolactone. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Just, so many times by […]

Weight: Where is joy? Attire: Where is joy? Resting Heart Rate: Where is joy? Food and Medicine Intake: Where is joy? Dream: Where is joy? # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Where is joy? # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: Where is joy? What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Where is joy? Other […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: Black pants, black tshirt, black shoes Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bread and cheese, potato chips, lemonade, boxed macaroni, peas and corn, milk, whisky. Dream: I just remember enjoying it. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: It felt touch and go at a bar where a friend […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: black jeans, blue pigeon shirt, then black redacted shirt, warmth, breasts Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Red Machine Naked juice, pizza, root beer, popcorn, apples, lemonade, Reeses, good whiskey in celebration of an opening, 100 mg spironolactone. Dream: I remember waking disturbed, but don’t remember why. # […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: cargo pants, sheer blue shirt, peacoat, bra Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Crescant, hot chocolate, leftover macaroni, then random crap, then 100mg spironolactone Dream: Rehearsing this play I’m working on. A and L decide the actors are not the right heights. They decide to make one actor […]

Weight: 142.8 lbs Attire: Grey dress with black leggings (briefly kitten tights), forms sewed into the dress, doc martens, corduroy jacket, peacoat. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Frozen waffles with syrup, macaroni and cheese, pint of porter, silver rum, banana, more pasta with marinara sauce, 100mg spironolactone orally, 40mg estrogen injected […]

Weight: ANSWER Attire: Green skinny jeans, sheer red shirt, docs, sweater, hooded coat Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Hot chocolate, crescant, pita with hummus, Israeli salad, feta, sweet tarts, cheese crackers with peanut butter, diet Pepsi Dream: Queer Robocop # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2, by coworkers # of Suicidal […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Nice black dress, leggings, etc Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Macaroni and cheese and some snacks today. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 6, four of which were noticed and apologized for # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have You Done to Become […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: A bunch of random crap: donuts, almonds, popcorn, luna bars, lemonade. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: None, really What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Cuddled with a […]

Weight: No scale Attire: black leggings, black skirt with gold and red patterns, backless black and white shirt, light military jacket, hooded duster, bra, underpants, doc martens Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheerios and milk, pizza, french fries, almonds, potato chips, strawberries and lemonade, and 4 chewable vitamins of dubious efficacy. […]

Weight: I don’t care today. Attire: patched jeans, brown flowy shirt, peacoat, sweater, etc Resting Heart Rate: I don’t care today. Food and Medicine Intake: veggie wrap, french fries, guiness, brownie with ice cream, tofu, kefir, milk. Dream: I remember being told to pay a bill for parking… # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1: […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: ripped jeans with flowers, black tank top, green military jacket, hooded duster. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: pasta, luna bars, almonds, wine Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Came […]

Weight: ANSWER Attire: Pajamas, motherfucker Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta with vodka sauce, Cheerios with milk, cream soda, cheez-its. Dream: forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 0 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Played video games, improving at video games. […]

Weight: 150 lbs Attire: Aqua skinny jeans, pigeon shirt, sweater-hoodie, hooded felt duster, docs. Resting Heart Rate: 78 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Waffles, macaroni and cheese, peas, cheez-its, luna bar, gatorade for some reason, almonds, cream soda with rum Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Black jeans (faded), red halter top, grey sweater, peacoat, then hooded felt duster, doc martens. Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Omelette and toast, black bean burger, french fries, peas, apple with peanut butter, pasta with vodka sauce, cheddar cheese, lemonade, vitamin water thing, cheetos. Dream: Forgotten # […]

Weight: 6 tons (147 lbs) Attire: Blue jeans, black leggings, low-cut blue shirt, bra, sweater-hoodie, brown hat, peacoat, docs Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Apple cinnamon Cheerios, pasta with cheese, lemonade, banana, Boca fake chicken patties, cream soda, silver rum, popcorn, 400 mg of ibuprofen Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Black leggings, long black skirt, yellow and brown shirt, bra. Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: alfredo, chips and salsa, lemonade, chocolate, little bit of gin, anise liquor, popcorn Dream: I don’t remember my dream. There was a cardboard cutout of an animated judge. # of Times Misgendered […]

Weight: More than 0 Attire: Flowy black pants, pink hippie shirt, docs, the usual Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheese sandwiches, valentines candy, bean and cheese enchilada, pint of guinness, some sips of Naia’s beer, french fries, chocolate lava cake Dream: There was an orgy, and a new game that I […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: Sheer red shirt, grey floral skirt, leggings, docs, light corduroy jacket (far too cold for this shit, but I needed to feel pretty) Resting Heart Rate: Didn’t check, motherfucker Food and Medicine Intake: Fake chicken burgers with ketchup, pasta with cheese, potato chips, cookie, granola bar. Dream: At Swarthmore, kind of. […]

Weight: 139 lbs Attire: Cargo pants, red scalloped shirt, underpants, bra, etc. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bowl of cereal, hot chocolate, crumb cake, leftover macaroni, honestly not close to enough. Dream: No memory # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 corrected, 1 (I believe) uncorrected # of Suicidal Thoughts + […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: patched jeans and a fucking shirt okay why is it so difficult with you Resting Heart Rate: I’ve slept 6 hours in the past 48 Food and Medicine Intake: Pastry, then indian food (chana sag), then from-the-box macaroni Dream: Shaken out of it # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 at […]

Weight: 139 lbs Attire: black jeans, black panties, black boots, red bra, my finest black and gold printed floral flowy top, sweater, peacoat. Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheerios, kefir, cranberry juice, tea, macaroni and cheese, falafel, belgian fries, mentos, a strange Japanese rice straw thing. Dream: Don’t remember # of […]

Weight: ANSWER Attire: black leggings, black and gold wrap/sarong/thing, low-cut purple shirt, docs, sweater, peacoat Resting Heart Rate: ANSWER Food and Medicine Intake: Macaroni and cheese in the morning, fake chicken and kefir in the evening. A cup of tea between. Dream: I had to substitute teach for a class at Buxton. An English class. […]

Weight: 139 lbs Attire: long-sleeved dragon t-shirt, brown sweatpants Resting Heart Rate: I didn’t take it, but fast, probably over 100bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Very sick today. Barely able to eat anything. A bite of leftover tofu, but it had gone bad, a bit of leftover pasta, a couple bites of macaroni and cheese, […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: low-cut purple shirt, bra, cargo pants, leggings for warmth, docs, sweater-hoodie, jacket Resting Heart Rate: 84 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bagel with cream cheese, naked juice, nut mix with raisin and cranberry, cheese doodles, potato chips Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + Comments: So many times at Friday […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Same as yesterday. Resting Heart Rate: 100 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pizza and root beer. Bowl of Kix. Banana. Fritos. I’m staring at an apple right now. (I ate it later). Two puffs of an albuterol inhaler. 200mg of ibuprophen. Dream: Walking down the driveway from the Bx house. The […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Black and gold skirt, black leggings, converse, black and white panties, red bra with forms, black and white backless shirt, sweater-hoodie, felt jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 54 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta with cheese, lemonade, bread, cheese, apple Dream: I remember moving into a new cabin at BLC, and there […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: yellow and white shirt, breasts, patched jeans, boots Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: coffee roll, Chipotle burrito bowl with sofritas and black beans, root beer pasta with cheese, corn, and peas Dream: No # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 2, […]

Weight: 147 lbs Attire: Run blacks Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Tofu, kale, rice, lemonade, popcorn, mentos, tortilla chips Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 3 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 2 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Work for money Other Comments: I want […]

Weight: 138 lbs Attire: Fleece leggings, grey floral skirt, doc martens, red bra with forms, blue sheer shirt, grey knitted sweater, fleece jacket (during work call, green cargo pants replace skirt) Resting Heart Rate: 74 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cinnabon? peanut butter pretzals, vitamin water (lemon, then passionfruit), lemonade and seltzer, green beans, alfredo, […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: pigeon shirt, black pants, swarthmore sweatshirt. Very butch, made me feel strange Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bagel with cream cheese, coffee roll, pizza, trail mix, smoked almonds, tortilla chips, root beer Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Once by barista # of Suicidal Thoughts […]

Weight: I don’t know Attire: Backless striped shirt, black skirt, bra, warmthwear Resting Heart Rate: TOO DRUNK Food and Medicine Intake: Minimal: some trail mix, some cheese curls, anise and whisky. Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 by a boss I ran into on the street (I corrected him), a bunch […]

Weight: 142 Attire: Pink hippie shirt, black flowy pants, leggings, panties, bra, sweater, jacket. Resting Heart Rate: More than 0, probably Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta and almonds and ginger ale and milk and apple and peanut butter and peas and corn. Dream: Outside an art museum I think, talking to my sister, I ask […]

Weight: 143 Attire: patched pants, pink shirt, normal underthings, normal overthings Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: pasta with parmesan, popcorn, smoked almond, reeses Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 0 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? I don’t remember. […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: red shirt blue jeans red bra all style Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Tofu and kale (leftover), rice/beans/cheese/salsa/goldfish/tortilla chip monstrosity, cranberry seltzer lemonade monstrosity, some weirdo vitamin water knockoff, twizzlers, peanut-butter-filled pretzals Dream: I recall being in a bedroom with J and another person. Telling J I […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: Black jeans, fleece leggings, black panties, bra, yellow 3/4 sleeve shirt, outerwear, [redacted] shirt during play I was doing follow-spot for, as run blacks Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cashews, bagel with cream cheese and peanut butter, banana, naked juice, salt and vinegar potato chips, cheese doodles, […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Same as yesterday: [redacted] shirt, patched jeans, fleece leggings, bra. Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bagel with cream cheese, frozen waffles with syrup, cheese pizza, cream soda. Dream: I found a job that I was actually qualified for, and I was going to get it. # of […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Most of day: patched blue jeans, red converse, fleece leggings, [redacted] t-shirt, outergarments of usual, then black and white-striped underwear, bra with forms. During performance of This Damned Body Is Breathing Beside You, same underwear under sheer black shift. Resting Heart Rate: 100 bpm (not really resting) Food and Medicine Intake: […]

Weight: Something Attire: Black leggings, black and gold wrap, red scalloped shirt, bra, etc Resting Heart Rate: Something else Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta with cheese, omelette with sweet peas, glass of merlot, 4 shots of anise liquor. Dream: In a house, like F&M’s house in San Diego. I’ve just moved in. It’s messy. My […]

Weight: 145.8 Attire: Sheer blue shirt, bra, black leggings, black and gold skirt, docs, outerwear Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Soft pretzals, cream soda, pasta with cheese, rice and beans, milk, cookies. Dream: In a large classroom building. I am reconnecting with my old classmates from high school. They aggressively misgender […]

Weight: No scale Attire: black jeans, COPE shirt, blue leggings, underwear, bra with forms, doc martens, sweater-hoodie, black felt jacket Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: bagel with cream cheese, yogurt, kiwi, banana with peanut butter, pirate’s booty, lemonade Dream: Sleep paralysis on the couch: trying to ask people what time it […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: pajamas again, bitches Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Omelette and toast, sag paneer with rice, cookie Dream: No memory, basically didn’t sleep # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Didn’t leave the house # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 4 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? […]

Weight: WHO THE FUCK GIVES A FUCKING SHIT Attire: PAJAMAS AND A SWEATER BECAUSE I DIDN’T LEAVE THE HOUSE Resting Heart Rate: I’M TIRED Food and Medicine Intake: BOWL OF CEREAL, BANANA, RICE & BEANS, PASTA, CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, TWO BRAN-ROLLS WITH CHEESE AND HONEY LAST NIGHT AFTER ANSWERING QUESTIONS Dream: I REMEMBERED IT BUT […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Backless black and white shirt, bra, flowy black pants, docs, purple panties, sweater, jacket. Briefly, a black nightgown. Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cashews, leftover tofu and kale Dream: Spent a lot of time figuring out the exact rules to a game, which was gone immediately upon […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Long black skirt, hippie shirt, jacket, sweater, bra, sometimes leggings, docs Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: bagel with peanut butter and milk, piece of pizza, kale with garlic, onions, chickpeas, and pine nuts, mashed cauliflower with carrots Dream: No memory # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Today, […]

Weight: 141 lbs (fixed the scale?) Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: a couple of bites of someone else’s macaroni and cheese, tofu with kale, bran rolls with honey and cheese, a bit of chocolate-chip coookie batter, apple, and cashews. Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + […]

Weight: 152 lbs? Attire: black jeans, docs, blue leggings, bra, red haltertop, sweater, jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheese and pea omelette with toast, naked juice, cliff bars, cheese curls, pancakes, rum, whisky Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: One What […]

Weight: My scale says 155, but that can’t be right. Attire: Fleece leggings, doc martens, grey and black flowery shirt, blue shirt with pigeon, bra with forms, sweater-hoodie, peacoat. Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: popcorn, pasta with cheese, naked juice, licorice, ginger ale. Dream: I remember, in a sunny room, watching […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: Most of day: thin grey pajama pants, no underwear, purple camisole. Later in day: purple leggings, black and gold sarong-thing, blue shirt with pigeon. Going to theater: purple leggings, brown panties, long black skirt, hippie pink shirt, doc martens, peacoat. Right now: brown panties, brown slip. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: Pink longsleeved shirt, cargo pants, docs, bra, sweater, jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: frozen waffles with syrup, popcorn, pasta, oreo, cranberry juice, rum, whisky Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 4 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 1 What Have You Done to Become […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Black patterned skirt, red scallopy top with laces, bra, leggings, boots, sweater-hoodie, felt jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Raisin-nut toast with peanut butter, pasta with cheese, omelet with peas and cheese, toast, kiwi, multivitamin. Dream: Spent too much time lying awake thinking about money to dream. […]

Weight: no scale Attire: Cut Explosions shirt, blue and night orange patterned skirt, leggings, bra, boots, sweater, jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Terrible: soba with pasta sauce and cheese, Cinnabon, of all things, Pizza Hut pizza, fries, Carlo Rossi Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of […]

Weight: No scale Attire: red sheer top, flowy black pants, things for warmth, breasts, makeup. Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: chips and salsa, fried rice with tofu, candy, sake Dream: I remember wanting to forget, and hanging lighting equipment on strands of human hair. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2. […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Striped backless shirt, black skirt, my usual outerwear, underpants, fleece leggings. Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Leftover alfredo with peas, banana, apple, cheeze-its, mango snapple, tofu with kale, cranberry juice, lemon sorbet. Dream: Many layers, and I don’t come off well. In Nana’s basement, before Christmas. I […]

Weight: Fucking drunk! Attire: Nothing motherfuckers! Resting Heart Rate: I don’t have a breathalyzer Food and Medicine Intake: RUM! Also GIN! Also cereal, falafel, and alfredo. Dream: I woke up with a vague feeling that I am most alive when I am asleep, but it faded with the sunrise. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: cargo pants, leggings, underwear, bra, undershirt, long-sleeved shirt, hoodie, jacket, doc martens/p> Resting Heart Rate: 68bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta with cheese, cranberry juice, cornbread, naked juice, chipotle burrito bowl, red licorice, crackers and cheese, rum. Dream: Absurdly complex, and in reflection, absurd. I’m riding a bus with a girl […]

Weight: The same Attire: Patched jeans and yellow shirt Resting Heart Rate: The same Food and Medicine Intake: Bowl of oat cereal flavored with vanilla and almond, apple, cornbread, sugar cookie, naked juice, smartfood, boca fake chicken patties with ketchup, cheese and crackers, cranberry juice Dream: Didn’t sleep enough to dream. # of Times Misgendered […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: grey sweatpants, COPE t-shirt. When it got colder in the day, added leggins and hoodie-sweater Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Apple, buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup, leftover General Tso’s tofu, pasta with cheese, green peas and corn, raspberries, milk, cranberry/raspberry juice. Dream: I only remember desiring to […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Brown flowy shirt, patched jeans, black doc martens, bra with forms, beige panties, black coat, blue scarf Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Grilled cheese with fries and a root beer, pasta with cheese, apple, milk, cornbread. Dream: Forgotten # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 1 # of […]

Weight: 143 lbs Attire: Red shear-ish shirt with the fun sleaves, black skirt with gold and red patterns Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Kale and chickpea wrap, black bean burger with bleu cheese and fries, two glasses of beer, bourbon cheesecake, Reese’s egg. Dream: Full of complicated argument and great anger, […]

Weight: My scale is packed away somewhere amidst the swarms of boxes. Attire: black and white striped backless shirt, green pants, leggings, bra with breast forms, black doc martens, blue sweater-hoodie, black felt jacket Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: McDonalds breakfast platter (pancakes, hash brown, eggs, biscuit), Wawa macaroni and cheese, […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: Most of day: green pants, sheer blue shirt, breast forms. New Years Party: Purple patterned tights, black and white panties, scalloped skirt, same top. Resting Heart Rate: Higher than usual Food and Medicine Intake: Cheese, crackers, broccoli, General Tso’s Tofu, 3 shots tequila with salt and lime, 1 shot good gin, […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Sheer blue shirt, cargo pants, bra, doc martens, the usual outergarments Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Entirely crap Dream: Don’t remember. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2 # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 2 What Have You Done to Become Better Today? Fixed a sewing machine, […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Black jeans, red velour haltertop (yes, it worked) Resting Heart Rate: 52 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Veggie burger with fries, macaroni and cheese, that’s it. Dream: Don’t remember. Logistical. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: 2. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: A couple upon waking up. What Have You […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: Purple shirt, black flowy pants, boots, the usual. Resting Heart Rate: Who even cares? Food and Medicine Intake: Half a bagel, some pasta, crackers and cheese, carrots and peanut butter, chocolate Dream: I found that I had more money than I thought I did. I was sad to wake up. # […]

Weight: 143.6 lbs Attire: Floral patterned skirt, black leggings, black boots, red scalloped shirt, bra with breast forms. Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Macaroni and cheese, cranberry raspberry juice, diet coke, zucchini lasagna, gin martini, red wine, crime brûlée. Dream: Another love dream: kissing a bitch girl in the stairwell of […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Patched jeans, black leggings, black underwear, black Doc Martens, brown flowy shirt, bra with breast forms. Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Seltzer, cheetos, homemade pizza, snow peas, cranberry juice Dream: Athletic, clothed foreplay with a woman I used to work with. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Most of the day: brown sweatpants, [redacted] t-shirt, bra with forms, black underwear. During dinner: black skirt and purple shirt replacing shirt and pants. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: 400 mg of ibuprofen, scrambled eggs, english muffin, chocolate, salad, cheese souffle, snap peas, peppermint bark. Dream: Incest. […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Flowy black pants, bright hippie shirt, bra with forms, black underwear. Resting Heart Rate: 88 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Some tortilla chips, vegetables in fondue, fruit in fondue. Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: A lot. Probably 10-12. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: None What Have You […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Sweatshirt sweatpants motherfucker Resting Heart Rate: Who gives a flying fuck Food and Medicine Intake: Some fucking lasagna, some fucking macaroni, some fucking green beans, some fucking cranberry juice Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: A bunch. I still can’t correct them. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: Not […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Patched pants, nice purple shirt, the works Resting Heart Rate: Who even cares? Food and Medicine Intake: Wheat chex for breakfast, alfredo for lunch, grilled cheese and fries and milkshake for dinner. Dream: My parents had a son, who was growing prodigiously (walking at 2 days old!). We sat on the […]

Weight: No scale Attire: [redacted] t-shirt, black fleece leggings, black skirt, red converse, red bra with breastforms, hoodie sweatshirt, black felt jacket Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Everything bagel with cream cheese, handful of chex mix, cranberry/raspberry juice, tofu, broccoli, rice, doritos, skittles, cream soda, water, popcorn, nuts. Dream: Gone except […]

Weight: No Scale Attire: blue jeans, pink shirt, the usual Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: One cetirizine hydrochloride tablet (allergy med), fried eggs and toast and cranberry juice, popcorn, cheese souffle (sp?), biscuits with cheese and honey, asparagus, chocolate milkshake, merlot. Dream: Outside of Buxton. A great monster, like a giant […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Blue pigeon shirt, bra with forms, black soft leggings, black skirt with embroidery, hoodie, jacket, converse. Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Eclectic: midnight snack of cheese crackers and coke, leftover pasta for lunch but not much of it, bowl of wheat chex for dinner, some cheese doodles, […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Patched jeans, red converse, blue shirt with pigeon, red bra with breastforms, hoodie, black felt jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Cheese and pasta, mostly. One cetirizine hydrochloride tablet. Dream: I am at the old cabin at camp, on R. C.’s porch. I let the family rabbit […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Sweatpants, hoodie (no leaving the house) Resting Heart Rate: 96 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bunch of crap Dream: Me and N have a new apartment in a large brick building by the water. Twice, we harbor attractive young white females on the run from stalkers or abusive partners. The first […]

Weight: No scale Attire: Same as yesterday Resting Heart Rate: 60 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: The other half of that weird donut, fancy salad, fancy smoothie, stuffed shells, some cheese-its, apple cider Dream: Wonderful # of Times Misgendered + Comments: Once by taxi-driver, carefully avoided by mother. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: One […]

Weight: I have no scale Attire: Fun black flowy pants, red Converse, brown flowy shirt, red bra, hoodie, jacket. Resting Heart Rate: 84 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: A startling amount of dairy today: cheese and crackers, milk, homemade macaroni and cheese, malai kofta, naan, mango lassi, that crispy appetizer they sometimes serve in indian […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: green pants, leggings, converse, bra, yellow shirt Resting Heart Rate: 72 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: bagel with cream cheese, peanuts, apple, naked smoothie, cheese curls, beer, macaroni and cheese, milk Dream: gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: once # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 7, approximately, but i feel […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Dark grey yoga pants, black leggings, red bra with breast-forms, black wife-beater (ew), black Neutral Milk Hotel t-shirt, blue sweater-hoodie, black felt coat. Resting Heart Rate: 52 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Bananas, peanut butter, pasta, pizza, potatoes, beer. Dream: I was in Tuscany, looking at impossible towns with red skyscrapers, […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Black skirt with gold designs, black leggings, black dress shoes, red bra with breast forms, white and black striped underwear, sheer blue long-sleeved shirt, blue hoodie sweatshirt, black felt coat Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Raspberries, popcorn, lemonade, pasta, chips. Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Red converse, patched blue jeans, pink underwear, red bra with breast forms, sheer blue long-sleeved shirt, sweater hoodie, black felt coat. Resting Heart Rate: Unknown Food and Medicine Intake: Bagel with cream cheese, popcorn, naked blueberry smoothie, pizza, mango snapple, potato chips, carrots and peanut butter. Dream: Gone # of Times […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Sweatshirt and jeans Resting Heart Rate: 76 lbs Food and Medicine Intake: Junk Dream: Don’t remember # of Times Misgendered + Comments: None # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: None What Have You Done to Become Better Today? I’m great at jungling in LoL Other Comments: Strange, dead day. Have You […]

Weight: 140 lbs Attire: Sweatpants sweatshirt Resting Heart Rate: 88 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Almost literally nothing Dream: In a small contained forest, with ceilings and walls. I realize the extent to which my life is controlled. # of Times Misgendered + Comments: None # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: None What Have You […]

Weight: 141 lbs Attire: Grey yoga pants, black leggings, white underwear, red bra with breast forms, ripped Explosions In The Sky t-shirt, blue sweater hoodie Resting Heart Rate: 80 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Pasta, banana, black bean burger, fried potatoes, milk, pink lemonade with seltzer, peanut butter, two large swigs of run straight from […]

Weight: 145 lbs Attire: Brown sweatpants, white shirt with “COPE” written on it, bra with breast forms, felt coat. Resting Heart Rate: 68 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: rice, pasta, snapeas, chocolate Dream: There is something under the skin of my wrists. I am scratching at a pimple and I scratch out a small root. […]

Weight: 144lbs Attire: Most of day I wore sweatshirt and sweatpants, because I spent the day inside working on music composition. When I went to the concert, I wore a grey dress, gold fisnets over purple tights, black heels, blue sweater hoodie, black peacoat, blue scarf around my neck, black and gold scarf around my […]

Weight: 148 lbs Attire: black jeans, black leggings, red converse, red bra with breast forms, semi-sheer long-sleeved blue shirt, blue sweater hoodie, blue scarf, black felt coat Resting Heart Rate: 64 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Fuck you Dream: Many parts. I remember losing to M in a high-stakes video game. I remember an empty […]

Weight: 142 lbs Attire: sweatpants, sweatshirt Resting Heart Rate: 56bpm Food and Medicine Intake: cheese, pasta, crackers, water Dream: Gone # of Times Misgendered + Comments: None; I didn’t leave the house. # of Suicidal Thoughts + Comments: 4. Pretty intense images of handguns into my brain What Have You Done to Become Better Today? […]

Weight: 146 lbs Attire: Red Converse, red bra with breast forms, pink panties, blue leggings under green cargo pants, red haltertop, blue sweater hoodie, blue scarf, black felt coat. Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: 3 swigs of whiskey, chocolate granola bar, sour cream and onion potato chips, Fettuccine Alfredo with peas […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Red Converse, blue leggings, long floral skirt, black-and-white-striped backless shirt, red bra with breast forms, blue sweater hoodie, black felt coat. Resting Heart Rate: 88 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Rice crackers with pomegranate jelly, apple, cashews, bagel with cream cheese, lemonade, cheese pizza, garlic bread, Sprite Dream: Gone. Something about […]

Weight: 144 lbs Attire: Green cargo pants, Russian eagle t-shirt, red bra with breast forms, blue hoodie, wool coat, red converse with socks. For meeting, black and white backless shirt, multicolored patterned skirt, purple patterned leggings. Resting Heart Rate: 76 bpm Food and Medicine Intake: Two off-brand ibuprofen, whole wheat bagel with cream cheese, pasta […]